I Aiden Doherty, defender of all goody-two-shoes, issue a declaration of war against all you alcoholics and non-God fearers/believers. The battle shall be bloody, there will be gnashing of teeth, weeping of tears, cracked skulls, showers of bullets, and villains and losers humiliated. However, among this there will emerge a hero so great in stature, and he shall be known as Aiden Doherty. Oh sinful generation, if you do not give up your alcoholic ways by 1:30pm on Monday 13th December, I have no option but to exterminate you all. Not one life can be spared.
Aiden Doherty, defender of good.
